So You're Telling Me I Have to Wear Pants: Navigating Season Changes and Sensory Issues

Fall is here.

If you live in the midwest, or anywhere where there’s a shift in temperature, your week may have looked something like mine.  Everything was all fine and good until the kids needed pants. I’m not sure how I can be so unprepared for this moment every year, but a quick poll of parents revealed I’m not alone.  

For kids with sensory issues, shifts in wardrobe can be catastrophically difficult-- and not just because we aren’t prepared with pants that fit. Many kids-- some on the autism spectrum, some not-- struggle with certain fabrics or elements of clothing.  What might seem like a preference or stubbornness is often a true, deep feeling of discomfort-- one we may not understand ourselves.  The best, most succinct book I’ve ever read about sensory processing disorder (Your Essential Guide to Understanding Sensory Processing Disorder by Angie Voss- affiliate link) puts it this way: “Sensory stimuli, such as the feeling of clothing on our skin (tactile), are typically tuned out by the neuro-typical brain. A brain that over-registers tactile input may “feel” the clothes ALL day long, unable to adjust or habituate to the texture on this skin.” Sometimes, clothing preference is more than preference: period.

So what do we do the get through this transition? Here are a few tips that might help.

Create a social story with photos of your child.  

While writing a social story can feel overwhelming, in my experience it’s one of the best tools out there.  Marshall’s teachers have used social stories for anything from talking to friends to dealing with fire drills.  At home, we’ve used social stories to explain Marshall’s autism to him or his friends, or to explain moving to a new house or having a new sibling.  My personal preference is to use Google slides and use actual photos of Marshall as much as possible.  He loves to read the stories repetitively and the photos provide an extra connection.  I have several templates on my teachers pay teachers site if the idea feels too overwhelming. (You don’t need to be a teacher to use the site.)  

Make the “rules” for clothing concrete.

In our house, we have as few clothing rules as possible.  My boys only wear “real” pants (something other than sweats) once a year for family photos, or for any other event that might require them. (Think: piano recital, wedding, funeral.)  I used to lay out clothes for them to be sure they matched, but as they’ve grown and we’ve worked on independence, I’ve turned them loose to dress themselves.  This can get a little tricky, depending on the season.  We made a chart with specific “rules” for what to wear depending on the temperature range.  We also added a weather app to each of their iPads for further independence.  They have all the tools to check the weather and get dressed appropriately without any adult intervention. We’ve now been using this system for years with very few hiccups.

Involve your child in the process.

If you’re like me, you may need to take a long, hard look at your child’s wardrobe. When given the choice, what do they like to wear?  Are their drawers stuffed full of choices, which can feel overwhelming? Are their clothes easy to access?  This book (affiliate link) was incredibly helpful to me.  So far I’ve tackled our craft area and the boys’ dressers using her strategies and it has been amazing!  Allowing kids easy access to the clothes they feel most comfortable in can make a big difference.

Reward your kid for doing hard things.

Stop telling yourself that you can’t reward your kid for something they “should” be able to do.  There’s no such thing as spoiling a child when you’re asking them to do something that is difficult for them!  Every child is different, so it only makes sense that some kids will have no problem switching seasons and clothing, while others will find it incredibly challenging.  The very first time Marshall wore a raincoat, it was for 2 minutes (we set a timer) and we bribed motivated him with a cookie. Does he ask for a cookie every time he wears a raincoat? No.  Did it allow him to try something challenging? You bet! Now he throws on a raincoat when it’s raining and jumps on the trampoline to his heart’s content.

It’s okay to start small and celebrate the little victories: together! And take a look around-- I promise your family isn’t the only one flustered by the changes in season.